New York Puts the "New" in New Beginnings

It is this time of year which brings me just a bit low.  You see, six years ago about this time, I was caring for my sick momma who was preparing to reach Glory.  She had fought cancer valiantly and was about to claim her victory. How, you ask?  Her death was simply the ending of one life to start her eternal one, cancer free.  However, we disabled guys rely on our mommas quite a bit.  No one knows us better than our mom, no one works harder on our behalf, no one gives up more for us, and no one feels our pain more than our mommas.  At least this was the case for me and my momma.  I lost my best friend, and it has taken me six years to realize just how deep the  hurt of that loss was and still is. I didn't realize how much she compensated for and advocated for for me. Never before did I ever have to explain what I couldn't see or do to someone.  Now however, I do.  I can never get that back, nor would I want to she fought cancer hard for eleven years and now she is healed.  Little did I know that God was working a plan that I would just now begin to see.  A plan that would involve Seminary, moving to Louisville, and being introduced to one of the greatest men I have ever had the pleasure to know.  These changes and introductions would serve as the catalyst to heal a broken heart.  That is not to say I do not miss my momma, because that will always be the case, but it is to say that God is faithful and even in the darkness He works hard for those who love Him.

In the summer of 2008 I began the process to become a student in Louisville, Kentucky.  This was something that I didn't think would happen as I was not the best student and had some challenges thought all of my schooling because of some challenges.   However, to the ministry I was called so to the Seminary I would at least try to go.  A long story short I was accepted to begin classes in 2009 and would move to Louisville in 2010.  In the fall semester I would take a Christian Ethics course which would change my life in ways I did not yet know.  It was in this class where on a day when I didn't know my way around that I would meet a man who would invest time in a broken-hearted brother who just needed a friend.  This is where I would meet Darren, though in a couple weeks he would drop the course, it would and still is one of the most pivotal live events I've ever had.  There have always been those people or families that God has placed in my path to take me beyond where I was.  What would God do now?  He would work out the most awesome plan I have seen in my life to date short of my salvation.  It is through Darren that I would become part of a church family again, attend his wedding (at this point I had only known him for a short time, and was sorta freaked out by attending a wedding), we would become brothers, I would meet his brother Trevor and in 2013 the adoption was complete when I met His other brother and sister along with his Dad.  This is a family with struggles of their own, but they had something I hadn't seen in 6 years.  Love.  They love each other just as my family used to.  What had been broken by grief in my family, God had brought me to  a place where I wasn't family by blood, but family by means of a cross.  You see what the cross brings together nothing can break it apart.  I still pray for and miss my family, but I thank God daily for what He has given me by means of His Son and His cross.  The family I have now is not better, but it is different.  Our family tree is not of earth but of heaven.

While there is still a lot I need to do, I am where I need to be now, and plan to keep moving forward.  I still have the same goals momma, I hope to honor you well, and to serve in missions some how, some way.  My body may break but as long as my mind and heart remain strong I will press on.  The good news is I'm not alone.  There are people who love me and who help me press on.  While the next couple weeks will bring me low the future is a bright one.

Written in memory of momma 1956-Feb 7, 2008 never forgotten, but forward I will go.

A Letter to Daddy From Your Crippled Son,

Dear dad,

You know, it wasn't so long ago, that October five years ago.  The one that changed everything.  The October that changed everything was preceded by the February that changed everything. It was in 2008 that I found God preparing my heart to lose my mother, so greatly prepared I was, that when the time came on February 7th, I wept at her loss yet rejoiced in her healing.  For eight months you and I wept together, we prepared together, and we moved on together. In October it seemed as though we where rounding the corner together, but then things changed on October 23.  The unexpected, unprepared for, the not ready to handle, you left too.  Saddened by grief God brought you home.  I write this letter not to focus on your death but your legacy.  The biggest change I've noticed in my life has not simply been the fact that you are gone, but that the man who raised his son to be more than crippled no longer stnads beside that son. 
 
In 1981 you became the father of a son, a son with whom you would never play catch, never teach to drive, and never do the "guy" stuff with. I should probably say here that it's not because you didn't want to do those things with me, it was because I couldn't do those things with you.  Your time with me would be spent driving me to and from St. Louis for many doctors appointments, to therapy, and working extra hours so mom could do the same.  your time would be spent defending your crippled son who would see him as nothing more than a cripple.  You would allow him to dream and stop those who might squash those dreams.  You would direct him to what you thought he might do rather than informing him of what he couldn't do.  You raised me to want to be a husband.  You didn't tell me because you can't drive, or make enough money, or fix stuff you aren't worthy to be a husband.  You raised me to work hard, to fight hard, and to pray even harder.  It's true you gave me a bit of an edge because you knew there would be a time when you would be gone.  Honestly dad, you raised me to be your son, you didn't raise a crippled son, you raised a son.  A son with vision, a son with ambition, and son with a heart. 

That's what I've missed most.  I miss the encouragement, I miss the hugs, I miss the love.  I loved hearing what I could do, and not what I couldn't.  I loved being pressed toward a goal  rather than directed away from it.  I miss my father, a warrior like no other.  Thank you for fighting hard for me, oh for  others to see the greatness in me that you once saw. Thank you finally daddy for raising, protecting, encouraging, loving, and challenging your crippled son so he could become so much. more.


Written by a battle weary son, in remembrance of his son.

With great love and memory of,

Mark William Mitchell Sr. November. 9, 1954-October, 23, 2008
It is truly my greatest honor to be called your son.

Whole Rests, Half Rests, and Breathing Marks

"In the Beginning God created the heavens and the earth."  Gen 1:1  Think about that, before God acted there was nothing, well there was the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, but there was nothing made. After those opening words in Genesis God gets to work creating EVERYTHING.  For six days He creates everything from land to water, birds to bears, and in his final act of creation, Man, "Let us make man in Our image." Gen. 1:26.  On the seventh day, what does He do?  He rests after what was the  crescendo of creation. 

Music has been a part of my life since I was young.  Being disabled it was the one thing I could do that didn't require to much physical ability.  It was my sport, I competed and sometimes I won and sometimes I lost. Music amazes me, it's order, its structure, and its complexities.  But, without an author it is nothing. Before the writer acts there is a blank page, on that page he places lines, which still have no meaning. Then comes a staff, and next a key, and so on.  God works that way too.  He started with nothing and made something, with us He starts with brokenness and makes beauty.

Imagine for a minute that God has made all the change in your life all at once, not letting you breathe and not letting your rest.  You couldn't keep up, it wouldn't make since.  You couldn't comprehend it, you wouldn't respond.  But, your creator knows you.  He knows when to have you rest, He knows when to let you breathe.  God does this and knows when to do this because He made you.  Not only that, but God also rested, why?  To show us how to appreciate work and moreover how to appreciate Him.

What does this have to do with music?  Well Imagine if a peace of choral music had no rests.  The Chorus could go for a while, but eventually it would have to stop, or there where no breath marks and the music just kept going on without a chance to breathe before each long stretch.  Rests can help bring out aspects of a work of music that if the rest where not there something would get lost.  Now I know there are other terms that help give music it's meaning, but I can remember singing everything from  Handel's "Messiah" to "Fiddler on the Roof, and even opera.  So many times I was looking for a rest.  A place to catch my breath, a place to just stop for a bit and enjoy what I had just done. Imagine still there where just rests, complete silence.  Before creation that's what there was nothing.  But, in music there are notes, breathing marks, rests, time signatures, style marks, and other things that build a song.  In creation God builds all things, He builds sky, sea, land, the sun, birds, fish, man, etc.  After all of that creating and buildup He rests.   So, that to God all of creation is a song.  He rests and admires His work, His greatness, His awesomeness. 

He puts us to work and yet tells us to rest, why?  Firstly so we can take a break, to recharge much like a singer breathes and prepares for the next line or bigger note.  He tells us to rest so that we might notice what we have done.  Moreover He has us rest, so thtat we might see what He has done. So, that we might rejoice in Him.

A New Beginning

I've blogged before but as the title indicates this is a "New Beginning."   Over the past few years I have been driving toward missionary service.  This is a great challenge for me not simply because of the Spiritual implications but the physical ones as well.  Am I not healthy?  Am I not fit?  By the standard terms, no.  But, for a guy with  a visual impairment and a mild to moderate muscular disability (depending on which doctor you ask and when you ask them), the physical labor will be hard, but not impossible.  This blog is here to serve three main purposes, though I can't promise I won't venture off at time into other things.  First my goal is to encounter the Gospel, second my goal is to speak to the ministry and discipleship of disabled people around the world.  Third, my goal is to speak to elements of Bible translation.  So many people have no Bible in their written language and  many others do not have a complete Bible in their language.  Moreover, those with physical  and mental limitations might not have access to a Bible that both communicates the Scripture faithfully and in a way that speaks to them in spite of whatever limitations they might have.

There you have it, there's the goal.  It is a lofty goal, but it is a goal that I have and if I can chip just a small chunk of that goal off in my lifetime, that is what I will do.  I will Go to people, I will Translate for people, I will Teach people, and I will Send people when I cannot go.